In Search of Light
by Lazlo Pizazzlo
Summary: Ten years have passed since everyone parted; I lived in lonesome sadness, unsure if I would ever find them again. But in a twist of fate, I found the one I loved, and still love, from all those years ago. ShadAmy, Sonally oneshot, Amy's POV


_For xXxJazzy B. RealxXx, because even though my writing will never come close to comparing with hers, she still motivates me and makes me feel worthwhile. :D And happy birthday to her, too! This also happens to be a present for her XD Jazzy loves older ShadAmys and I've never tried my hand at them, so here we go! Trial number one. XD_

_Gonna say this right now: this story may seem like it's bastardizing Sonic, but it most certainly **is not**. Shadow has a pre-detirmined hatred for Sonic, so his words come out making it sound like Sonic is a jerkface. This is also NOT a story, but a **oneshot**. This is not going to continue, peroid. XP_

_But other than that, there should be no warnings to speak of...__Hope you all enjoy!_

_-Laz_

* * *

"You…you've changed, Amy."

I blinked as my face flushed with embarrassment. It was true; I had changed – and quite a lot, at that – but I wondered just what he was looking at that made him say such a thing. I nodded, feeling my limbs go numb as his gaze remained fixed upon me. But as he looked away, allowing himself to face the sunset on the horizon, I felt a heap of weight fall off my shoulders. Just like old times, I smiled to myself, bringing my head up and running my fingers through my pink quills. I loved him back then with all my heart, and a small voice said that I still loved him. I accepted it with no hesitation. Even as the immortal and ageless guy like he was, he still looked more mature.

But during my thoughts, a small silence settled between us, one that felt uncomfortable very quickly. I pushed words out of my chest.

"H-how have you been, Shadow? It's…uh, been a while!" I tried to laugh and smile like I had been, but I knew I failed at convincing. He sounded so mellow and so thoughtful, and I wanted to bring the mood up. It was a coincidence that we had ran into each other after he tackled a robot making mischief in the city. I wanted to make the most of it.

The black hedgehog suddenly stiffened, as if I had struck him in the back of the neck. It surprised me to see such a reaction come from him. Though silent, I could tell that he had been hurting again. I folded my hands, frowning as I took a step toward him. He perked up almost instantly, shedding his pained exterior within mere seconds.

"Hell." Shadow sighed. I brought a loose fist up to my mouth in disbelief. It had been…hell for him? "How long has it been? Nine years?"

"Um…ten, I think…"

"Ten years, four months, and two days since I last saw you, then." Shadow spoke flawlessly without a pause. His voice had a spike of rage to it, almost as if he were going to lash out on something to relieve his anger. My eyes widened. He had been keeping track, right down to the day, too. "Worst years of my life. I hate it. I hate being out here; I hate not working with a team; I hate working for Sonic while he sits back and watches everything."

The familiar name of the familiar blue hedgehog rang in my head so loud, it nearly threw me off balance. After all the years I had gone without seeing a single soul that I lived with, I nearly forgot about Sonic. He used to be the team captain, commanding Shadow and I, with the addition of two others. But he always fought the hardest and wasn't afraid to sacrifice his own life for another. To hear Shadow speak of him like the way he did made me jump on the defensive mode.

"Sonic…?"

"He married Sally, don't you remember? So as the king, he asked me to go and do the dirty work of disposing of the robots that Eggman left behind." Shadow explained. "I get a roof over my head in return, no more, no less."

I stared down at my feet, frowning. Shadow made it sound like we were separated all because of Sonic. There was some truth to that, too; when Sonic became of-age to wed, he proposed to Princess Sally Acorn, and she gladly took his hand in marriage. It was generally assumed amongst all of us that we were to move out and start new lives; Sonic would never have enough time to be a king and go out to fight villains at the same time. So we packed up and left sadly, making empty promises to visit each other and hold reunions.

I rented an apartment for just myself shortly after the change happened, yet nothing happened after the first few months. Only guilt made a visit to my door; I felt like I should have called someone, especially Shadow or my young friend, Cream, but I had no contact information for them. I nagged at myself to go visit the Acorn castle to visit Sonic and catch up on old times, but I never was able to motivate myself enough.

I spent my Friday nights alone curled up on the sofa listening to music while I watched the stars. Shadow and I had always gotten up early in the mornings while the stars still shone in the dark sky, talking about dreams we had or problems we encountered with ourselves. Back then everything was so simple, I remembered thinking. We seemed so close to one another; three words away from unity. I remembered crying myself to sleep some nights, wishing I had the courage to tell him those words on one of the mornings.

But eventually, I learned to move on. My clumsy acts had remained the same, but my looks were the only thing that I had made an effort to change. I grew my quills down to my shoulders and swapped my standard red dress for a variety of skirts and tops, achieving the twenty-something style that I had always wanted. I may have grown a few curves, too, but deep down, I hadn't lost the cheerful spirit that I had ten years back. I was still just as love-hungry as I was back when I was a teenager.

It was hard to believe it had been ten years. Ten whole years; a decade without seeing anyone. All that guilt was heaved back on my shoulders, and I clenched my fists.

"I'm…I'm so sorry, Shadow…"

"The exchange is bordering on 'unfair', but I suppose it beats trying to survive out in the woods." Shadow agreed, but for the wrong reason. He thought I was apologizing in sympathy for his situation; I was sad that he was disappointed in his position, yet I was more saddened by the fact that no one had made contact for an entire decade.

What happened to us? Where did our team spirit go? One marriage split us up…perhaps I should have said something, something to stop us from going our separate ways. Shadow could have led our team easily; we would be short one person, but that was just one. It wouldn't have made much a difference; we could have just fought harder. But no matter what I felt like I could have done, I didn't do it. We had broken apart, and what was done was done.

I was suddenly aware a tear trickled down my cheek, sliding off and dropping down to the ground. My hands were heavy, unable to reach up and wipe my eyes dry. Crying wouldn't help anything, I scolded myself, yet I couldn't talk myself out of it. Shadow hadn't sounded like he had tried to find me or anyone else, so that meant that we had to all be guilty of lying to each others' faces. Were we that cruel? We were the good guys – the heroes, and there we all were, speaking falsely and sugar-coating things that would never come true.

"Amy…?" I heard Shadow's concerned voice ask. My heart throbbed at his endearing tone; he never showed any sort of alarmed emotion towards anyone except me on special occasions, especially if I began crying out of the blue like I was. After he spoke, I suddenly pulled my hands up to my face, covering my tear-stained cheeks. My shoulders trembled as more tears rained.

"Amy, what's wrong?" he sounded closer to me, in arm's distance, but I couldn't respond. What was I to say? What was I to do? He seemed so outward with his feelings to me and I had only said a few back. It was as if the roles had switched over the decade passed. And for that, I was guilty as well.

Just as I was about to fall to my knees, Shadow set his hands gently on my shoulders. I fell into him, wrapping my arms around his torso and squeezing with all the diluted strength I had. He returned it, with less force, but still held onto me like I always wanted him to. All the memories of the stars I had stared at alone on those Friday nights flooded back to me. I had always looked to my left, expecting Shadow to be there, but he never was. I missed everyone tremendously. I missed him more.

"Shadow, what happened…?" I sobbed, digging my face into his chest. "We used to be so happy – we knew what was going on! I haven't heard from anyone, and I haven't done anything about it…!"

"Don't blame yourself; that's wrong of you."

"B-but…! I was always the one who gathered everyone for tea on the winter nights, though…! Everyone cared about each other when I was there!" I cried, sniffling as the tears continued to flow.

"People move on, Amy. You can't change that," Shadow said, stroking my quills in attempts to calm me down. "Perhaps it was a mistake for the team to separate, but maybe not. It happened for a reason, though, didn't it?"

I brought my flushed face up to look at his. The water works came to a slow, yet steady flow now, allowing me to see Shadow's perfected features. He stared down at me in return with a solemn face that I couldn't pick up on quite well.

"We found each other, after all – that's one out of five people you want to find. Doesn't that make you happier?"

I sniffed, smiling as I realized the truth to his words. He and I did find each other, just by accident. A simple stroll through the city on my part, of all days, only to run into a commotion involving a dysfunctional, raggedy old robot and Shadow; love had given me another chance to confess my feelings to Shadow, or at least see him one last time before returning to my life of solitude and sadness. But a problem presented itself to me; Shadow was here now, holding me so close and comforting me in my sadness. I could never turn back now.

"Sh-Shadow…" I hiccupped, resting my head against his white tuft of fur and closing my eyes, "I don't know what to do now. I've missed you so much, you and the others, but you the most. You've got to understand! I-I'm so happy to see you right now…I just…I just can't…!"

In a flash, I felt Shadow's lips press against mine, his hand supporting my neck carefully as I stood there, stunned. Was this a pity kiss, or was it real? It was…fantastic, either way, even if it was short. Part of me wanted more of it. As he pulled back, I blinked, searching for words to say. His cheeks were flushed and his crimson eyes refused to focus on me, but it didn't stop me from grabbing his hands to redirect his attention. He looked back down at me amidst his confusion. I went for it, stepping up on my tip-toes and gave him a peck back on the lips. Just as I was about to return to my normal stance, Shadow's pushed my head back into his, starting another kiss once again.

I was in heaven, I told myself. This couldn't be real life. But it all felt so real, so true…I decided it was; I wasn't fantasizing or dreaming. It was all so genuine.

I thought back to Sally's wedding. She threw the bouquet of flowers up over her head just as Sonic tackled her playfully. Up, up, up it went, and the blue-dyed roses came falling down to the crowd of girls which happened to include me. Everyone had squealed in delight, eyes widened as they reached out with spread fingers to invite the flowers into their arms. I did the same, naturally, with outstretched arms and tip-toed feet. But who caught it? Who was destined to be married next? I couldn't remember. Everything was melting into a spiral of joy, romance, and confusion that all my memories flew away.

Shadow was here now, and I would never let him go.


End file.
